my plan was to get over there, watch the new episodes of ugly betty and grey's anatomy together and then turn off the tv and try to have a conversation with him. a conversation about the break up and about what's been through my head.
i didn't know where to sit in his room to watch tv, or what to say or how often should i make small talks; i didn't know how to interact with him. i said we should be friends, so of course acting like friends should be a big part - dah!! but trying to cross over the threshold is the hardest part.
i wanted to do this because i felt that i needed to. i was searching for closure. i needed to have two things happen: to tell him more about my thoughts/feelings, and to try to have him tell me mine. (apparently it was "torturous" for him to be expressing lol)
i can't say in details what we said to each other, but i finally heard what i need to hear from him - his side of the story. i found my closure. i'm very happy that he was willing to open up and say what was on his mind. *it wasn't so difficult now, was it?*
when i got home, i found a new post on his blog. it was about tonight. the last two lines, it translates to:
thank you very much justin , having met you is my fortune
it's from the heart......
so i posted a comment for that entry:
thank you for ur last two lines of kind words.
and for me, i never regretted having met u and being with u
i don't feel regret even after having been through all that pain (which i never blamed u)
and i certainly cherish the happy times we shared
i'm happy to have had u by my side as my boyfriend
and now i'm happy to have u by my side as my good friend
认识了你真是我的福气 ^_^
(translate: having met you is my fortune)
9 comments:
多么温馨的照片啊
英文还好能看懂
justin的感情还是很细腻的
Honesty will set you free! I will always remember this sign that I saw in a disco in Singapore 10 years ago (don't try to math this one out) "It's cruel to be kind" It was seared in my memory forever. We all want answer even if it's not what we want to hear.
I'm glad you guys talked things out. I think we are inherently kind and loving people but due to momentary lapsed of judgement and uncertainty we hurt the ones we love, not with intention but just a poor response to our emotion.
We are here for you.
-Francis
to francis: i know ur age, i don't need to "math" it out muahahaha but thx for reading my stuff :) i think some kind ppl don't know how to act kind
to 蓝城: hey blue-city :) thank you for reading my blogs. i'm a very emotional person; i usually have a lot of 感情 in me.
and now i'm happy to have u by my side as my good friend
Soooooooooo, so this is the so'called closure!? seems u r exciting about this talk and lol so often!Anyway good picture and good recoverage! Keep staring! don't be silly again! lol!
haha, it's really touching warmth. the way you deal with this relation. The result, we can see at the moment, is the best what you can do. For you, for xiaolin, and for all the readers. without regret, we can find the better life we had ever expected.
wish you and xiaolin can get it over soon, keep the memory in mind which can warm your heart and soul in your future life.
good luck
to leo: thank you very much :) i do hope so
wish you two guys happy together as "good friends". cherish what you have had and what you have now!
to tournesol: thx :)
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