coming clean

i think i'm stupid, or just can't hide something like this from anyone. i feel the need -- no, urge! -- to confess about what's going on in my head.

it's just that, i don't want to be thinking about it anymore and i don't wanna have to feel like i'm hiding something every time hanging out.

i'm not assuming anything will change after i confess -- and not hoping since i can't ethically go through with that. but hiding feels like lying. most of all, once i've heard myself confess everything out verbally, i should be able to control my head better and just be done with it.

and it's not a big deal, right? i shouldn't make it into too serious of a conversation. it should be relaxed and with jokes or something.

it's just so stupid the stuff in my head didn't come earlier. but then it would still be unethical to go through with it. now i have to confess that i feel something and have been thinking of it. stupid stupid stupid!!!

need to come clean! need to be done with it all!!